A New Hobby

As I've mentioned before, every morning I get up at 7 and drag myself to the bus stop to catch the bus at 7:30. The culture here is a night culture, so everyone is a zombie on the bus. We climb the steps and mumble "Sbah El-khir." And the driver nods because he has to conserve his energy to get us to the university in one piece. However there is one person who ignites everyone: Abdu. I have mentioned him before. We walked to school in 6 feet of snow and later I met his family over a couscous lunch. This morning we had another run in...

We were all on the bus already and Abdu ran to catch up; he was late. He just made it and jumped on board with a smile. He walked down the aisle saying hello, peace, and good morning to everyone. Abdu knows everyone. Anyways, finally he got to me and stopped and stood by me. We started our normal morning conversation asking each other about the wife and kids. We continued like this as we made our way to the university.

As we were going through the town center, here called 'Centre Ville', Abdu leaned in and asked me: "Matchew, do you have the hobby of going to the bathroom on the weekends." Hmmm... I wasn't ready for that one. This was a new one for me. My mind wasn't that sharp because I'm an insomniac. Certainly something was being lost in translation, or was I still asleep and dreaming this whole thing. I pinched myself. I was awake. Do I have the hobby of going to the bathroom on the weekends? When in doubt about a non-native English sentence I usually ask, "What's that?" Abdu clarified, "You know, do you go to the bathroom or do you just shower?"

Suddenly I had an epiphany. He was talking about the hammam. In Arabic you call the bathroom the hammam and you also call the bath house the hammam. Abdu was really asking me if I like to pamper myself at the bath house on the weekends. I laughed a bit to myself and told him I typically just shower. Abdu smiled and nodded and said he was going to the hammam tonight and wanted me to go with him...

Abdu and I met up at 6 pm, after work and school, and headed for an evening of relaxation. Abdu was the expert. There is a certain hammam etiquette that you have to get accustomed to. There is certain equipment that you bring also. Even though I had been to the hammam before, it felt like I was going to the golf course for the first time. I had a lot to learn.

All I took with me was a humble bag with my own soap, shampoo, razor, towel, and change of clothes. When I saw what Abdu had it was like comparing me carrying my great grandpas rusted out golf clubs and then looking down at Abdu's custom made Big Bertha's. Abdu was equipped with two 7-9 gallon buckets, two small pales, soap, shampoo, a razor, a special oil rub for the caldarium (hot room), an exfoliating glove, a loofah, rubber sandals, a personal bath mat, change of clothes, a towel, and his own full size bathrobe. This guy was not ashamed of pampering himself. Luckily he forgot shaving cream, so I got to lend him some of mine, which made me feel a little better about my humble preparations. It's like when the guy with all the high tech golf stuff asks you for a tee.

I won't get into the nitty gritty of what goes down in the hammam in hopes that the mystery of it may entice you to come and experience it. None the less I ended up returning home from the bath house at 9 pm. Yes, I took a three hour bath tonight. I am now well versed in hammam etiquette. I know what you do in the caldarium, the tepidarium, and the frigidarium. I know how to keep my feet warm in the dressing room even though I didn't have rubber sandals for the cold tile floor. In the future, to look like I know what I am doing I will bring my own buckets and pales. I am going to buy an exfoliating glove. I am thinking about investing in a bathrobe. Whoever thought going to the 'bathroom' could be such an intense hobby.